On self doubt, and finding your way back to yourself

I have had a little voice in my head for as long as I can remember.

Not the good kind. The kind that says you're not enough. Not skinny enough, not smart enough, not capable enough. It has been my biggest battle since I was a child, and for a long time I didn't even have a name for it. I just thought that was how life felt for everyone.

As I've gotten older and learned a little more about myself, I've realized it wasn't. And more importantly, I've learned that it doesn't have to stay that way.

I'm not here to tell you I have it all figured out. I really don't. But I have found a few things that have helped me gain strength and confidence bit by bit, and I share them in case any of them resonate with you.

Therapy

I started in 2020 during the pandemic and it has been the best investment I have ever made in myself. Full stop. Having a space to understand my own patterns, my own triggers, my own way of moving through the world has been invaluable. If you've been on the fence about it, this is your sign.

My therapist charges me $70 per session so if you'd like her contact please email me and I'll share that with you.

Hot yoga

I cannot say enough about this one. When you practice regularly your body gets stronger, yes, but so does your mind. There is something about showing up to that room three times a week, doing hard things, and finishing, that quietly builds confidence in a way nothing else has for me. You prove to yourself over and over that you can do difficult things.

I go to Inner Fire Yoga and I love the community there as well as the teachers, my favorite class is Inner Fire Flow.

I know hot yoga is not cheap and it is not for everyone's budget, and that is completely okay. The most important thing is finding something that moves your body and that you actually enjoy showing up for. During the pandemic I used the FitOn app which has a huge library of yoga, cardio and pilates classes for free.

A support system you can count on

My sister, my girlfriends, my parents, my partner. Quality time with the people who genuinely care about me does more for my anxiety than almost anything else. Not big dramatic conversations necessarily, sometimes just hanging out, laughing, being together. I need that to feel good and I've stopped feeling guilty about needing it.

Podcasts that make you feel seen

The Mel Robbins podcast has been a quiet game changer for me. It helped me recognize patterns in my own life and relationships that I didn't even have words for before. And there's something so comforting about realizing that millions of other people are out there working through the exact same things. You are never as alone as that little voice wants you to believe.

Doing something creative

This one has looked different for me at different points in my life. For a while it was doodling on my iPad in Procreate, making patterns and designs just for the joy of it. This year it has been cooking. My boyfriend gave me a blank recipe book to fill with my own recipes and I've written four or five so far. I haven't been perfectly consistent and that is completely okay. The point is not perfection. The point is to keep doing what you love and to keep coming back to it even when life gets in the way.

Illustration I made back 2022 using Procreate while taking a Skillshare class

And the most important thing I've learned

Stay true to yourself. Say what you feel and what you think, always with compassion and empathy, but say it. For so long I kept things quiet to keep the peace or because I didn't trust my own voice. Learning to use it has been the biggest shift of all.

This is my path. It won't look exactly like yours. But if even one of these things opens a door for you, then it was worth sharing.

You are enough. You really are.